Y•LIFe Blog ::

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Support Letter: Sat, 20 Dec 2008 04:51:00 +0000
Dear friends and family,

As we near the end of the year, we wanted thank you for your support and share what God has done through Y•LIFe in 2008. It has been a great year of growth and transition. The most notable development this year was a new emphasis on one-on-one and small group discipleship. We are encouraged by the opportunities we have had to share the abundant life in Christ with many in our area as we pursued discipleship locally. Additionally, we continued speaking at churches, retreats, and conferences in Arkansas and throughout Texas.

Our goal for LIFe Ministries is to proclaim the beautiful news that true fullness in life is only found in Jesus, and that our relationship with Jesus brings freedom, peace, joy, and love.

It is thrilling to watch Him move in others and transform their lives. We received this message from a youth worker who attended the retreat in Arkansas:

"I just wanted to say thank you for the message you brought to our kids… I think it not only gave insight to our youth group, but your message had an impact on the leaders as well, definitely me . . . I was truly blessed. So I just wanted to say THANK YOU! I look forward to next fall!"

We also lead a small group of high school students through the book of Ephesians at our home on Thursday evenings. We have the privilege of watching God work in extraordinary ways in their lives. One student recently wrote this in an encouraging note to us:

“I seriously wish you could sit down with half the kids in my school and tell them that life doesn't depend on what they accomplish and that they just need to rest in Christ…Thanks soo much for everything you and Dani do for me. My life is soo much more restful and full. And happy :) You just don't even know.”

God has faithfully provided for our financial, physical, and spiritual needs as we follow Him moment-by-moment. At times relying on God for our daily needs has been difficult, but through the process of trusting Him, we have grown much in our faith. We have known of His care and faithfulness for many years, but now we are experiencing this reality as we rest in these truths and enjoy Him in both pleasant and difficult circumstances. Thank you for your prayers, encouragement, and financial support in 2008. You are a crucial partner in this ministry.

As we begin our third year, God has led us to continue our ministry through the financial support of churches, organizations, and individual supporters. Our direction and vision of LIFe Ministries is similar to mission work. We serve, minister, and share the gospel of Life in Christ, while God uses those of you who share our heart for this ministry to provide the largest part of our financial provision.

Throughout 2008, we continued to receive financial contributions from supporters, like-minded organizations, and compensation from churches where Matt spoke. Financially, the ministry is surviving on a month-to-month basis. While we do not have enough supporters to cover the budget, God continues to faithfully provide for our family's needs. Each month, as we draw close to the end of our financial resources, God provides. Most of the time, this unpredicted provision of our needs comes from one of you. Thank you. We are grateful for His provision through your generosity.

Since LIFe Ministries was founded in 2006, we have not increased our budget. With additional support in 2009, we hope to update our computer programs, expand our church partnerships, encourage and assist youth pastors, increase our discipleship opportunities, and continue to develop material for various speaking events. We would also like to contribute to a retirement account and to a Health Savings Account, but will not be able to do this unless our support base increases.

We encourage you to pray about becoming a monthly, quarterly, or annual financial supporter of LIFe Ministries if you are not already. If you know of anyone who might be interested in hearing more about this ministry, please contact us. If you wish to give financially for 2008, you will need to postmark your check by December 31, 2008, for tax purposes.

Partnering with you on this mission from God is an honor for us. There is nothing more urgent for the church than for believers to know who they are in Christ and begin depending on Him in their daily lives. Your financial support as well as your prayers will enable us to continue proclaiming His truth and life to more churches. We long for transformation in individuals and churches around the world.

Grace & Peace,

Matt and Dani
LIFe Ministries
www.liveinfreedom.org

Living In Freedom Ministries is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization. Donations are tax-deductible.

*In case you are interested in supporting this ministry, please click here to find out more information.
Living Out of Our Spiritual Reality in the Physical Realm: Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:51:00 +0000
Big God in Forest Glen: Fri, 14 Nov 2008 15:52:00 +0000
A few weekends ago, I spoke at the Big God Fall Retreat for Heights Baptist Church of Temple. We traveled to Forest Glen Christian Camp in Rosebud, TX. It is a beautiful encampment and this group was a ton of fun. Jeff Burns, the YP, has been there somewhere around 15 years and continues to pour his life and love into the group. This was my second time to partner with him in ministry and it was, once again, a joy for me.

The material we went through during this weekend retreat was the "Signs" material I created a few months ago. It consists of several pictures I've taken from various church signs and we discuss what messages are being sent by churches via these signs.

The students were incredibly responsive and engaged in each session. One of my favorite sessions during the weekend took place on Saturday night, when a student had several questions about the topic (which led to questions that didn't necessarily directly connect to what we were talking about). I took some time to respond to his questions and felt that he wasn't the only one wondering about these things. After a while, the entire group was looking up different passages and reading them to each other looking for what the Bible said in regards to each question. It was pretty cool watching all of this happen.

Here's the group that went (these shirts are definitely the most unique shirts I've seen for a youth retreat!):

On Saturday night, we had a pretty rocking camp fire, of course with S'mores!

We also played a great game on Sunday afternoon that entailed grabbing socks from other players (tucked in like flags for flag football) without getting your sock pulled out first. This game got rather intense!
Incomparable: Wed, 12 Nov 2008 16:25:00 +0000
Inner Peace over Inner Turmoil: Fri, 07 Nov 2008 21:39:00 +0000
The past few weeks have been somewhat of a roller coaster for me. I had an amazing trip to Arkansas with my family, got to speak at a retreat and built some great friendships while we were there, spoke at a retreat in Texas the weekend after that for the youth group that I first spoke to after forming LIFe Ministries, almost completely depleted funds in the ministry account, and began working on our 2009 support letter as well as trying to line up future speaking engagements.

As I've gone through all of this, I've begun experiencing inner turmoil. Honestly, I haven't handled it very well. Yesterday was the culmination of this struggle in my soul as I spent most of the day with my family. Unfortunately, they received the brunt of my flesh.

Last night, during our High School Ephesians Bible Study, Dani asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks. We were talking about Ephesians 2:11-16 and, at this point in the evening, I was talking about verse 14, and the reality that Jesus Himself is our peace.

As I was explaining how Jesus has united Himself in our spirit, giving us life and inner peace, He also makes it so that we don't have to have inner turmoil. We don't have to pray that God will bring others peace in a situation, He IS our peace in every situation. We don't need Him to give us peace, it's WHO He is in us already.

This is where Dani stopped me. She asked, "Can you explain why it is that we still struggle and don't always feel this inner peace?"

It was as if God was using Dani's voice to speak directly into my soul. I could talk all day about these verses, but they were removed from my present context. It was just a bunch of information. Until she asked me this question, I hadn't really allowed these verses to resonate with my soul.

As I thought about how to answer her question, I couldn't help but face the reality that these past few weeks have been spent in much inner turmoil, and not so much inner peace.

So, what's my issue? Why am I not experiencing His peace, or better put, why am I not experiencing Him (since He is our peace) in my daily life?

I was "turning back to the yoke of slavery" (Galatians 5:1). The perceived uncertainty of the future, lack of contentment with the present, and my willingness to give in to my flesh all created an atmosphere of slavery in me. Slavery to what? Slavery to my flesh. Even as I was walking around sulking, anxious, angry, and selfish, I knew that I didn't have to live this way. However, I continued to allow my emotions and perception of my circumstances control me.

God in His grace and sovereignty allowed me to wallow in this for a while. Why, you might ask? Because I needed to go through this in order to be reminded, once again, that I cannot live this life apart from Him, in my own strength.

I recently begain reading a book by Brennan Manning called "Ruthless Trust." I think the Lord led me to this book at this time because I needed to hear what Brennan mentions in the first chapter and the theme which he continues throughout the book. At the very beginning, he writes:

This book started writing itself with a remark from my spiritual mentor "Brennan, you don't need any more insights into the faith" he observed. "You've got enough insights to last you three hundred years. The most urgent need in your life is to trust what you have received."

As I read those words, I was reminded of what my mentor, Bill Loveless always tells me each time I call him anxious over our financial situation or anything else going on in our lives.

Matt, you know the real question in this situation, don't you? The real question is not whether or not God is going to take care of you, but rather where is your breaking point? Where is the line you will draw from trusting God to doing it on your own?

As I've been contemplating these truths, I have come to realize that my turmoil isn't as much over my circumstances as it is with my lack of trust in Jesus. In Him, I have peace and can trust Him as my life. When I'm experiencing anything other than rest, peace, love, joy, patience, fulfillment, contentment, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, and abundance, I can know that those are the times I have stopped trusting Him and have started relying on myself.

Where are you on this spectrum? Are you experiencing His peace or are you wrestling in your soul?

My prayer for today is that I will come to Him and find rest for my soul (Matthew 11:27-30) because He really is so much better than anything else I could ever desire (Philippians 3:7-12), and as I rest in Him, I will learn the reality and secret of contentment (Philippians 4:11-13); which is living dependently on Him in each moment, fully trusting Him to be all I need.
What To Do With Fear?: Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:27:00 +0000
Evangelism - Part 2: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 07:13:00 +0000
Arkansas Retreat: Mon, 27 Oct 2008 20:57:00 +0000
Well, we made it back to Texas early this morning...arriving at home around 3:00 am. The trip was a blast! I can't even begin to describe how beautiful Arkansas is and how much fun we had exploring the state. Here are a few picks from the retreat site, Shepherd of the Ozarks (SOTO).
This bear was in the entry way of the cafeteria area. Go Bears!!!

Here is the view from the balcony just outside of the cafeteria/meeting place:

This creek ran around the base of the retreat center:

I'll update later this week with more details from the retreat. It was a blast for us, but it's nice to be home again!
Evangelism: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 04:34:00 +0000
Oswald Chambers: Thu, 16 Oct 2008 20:07:00 +0000
Ever since high school, I've picked up "My Utmost For His Highest" and read a few days here and there but nothing consistently. This week, however, the Spirit led a dear friend to e-mail Dani about the entry for October 13 entitled, "Individual Discouragement and Personal Growth." The devotional uses the life of Moses to reveal something profound. Our friend e-mailed Dani to say that this devotional was along the same thought as the sermon I preached on the 12th. However, as I read through what Chambers wrote, it seemed it was exactly what God wanted to share with me this week.

Here are a few passages of note that impacted my life and my mind:

In the beginning Moses realized that he was the man to deliver the people, but he had to be trained and disciplined by God first. He was right in the individual perspective, but he was not the person for the work until he had learned true fellowship and oneness with God.

For the past several months, discouragement and despair have been the prevailing emotions for me. When we started Y-LIFe, I had a ton of dreams and a huge vision that I felt was from God. Now that we're two years into it, I've often thought I was crazy for thinking such things in the first place. Isn't it always so easy to look at the physical circumstances and base our quality of life off of them!

As I read through this devotional, the Spirit began changing my thoughts. He began to show me how much like Moses I've been. Once He began revealing Himself to me a few years ago as my Source of life and what it means to live from my union with Him, I've longed to share this as much as possible. Once I was experiencing His freedom, I couldn't wait for others to taste its sweetness as well.

However, for many months, I've thought I was going to do all of this. The main problem, as Christ has revealed to me this week, is that my belief system continues to carry lies within it. My life was proof of this. When discouragement and despair are consistent emotions experienced in my life, it's a great clue into the reality that I'm living in my flesh.

Chambers also writes, "We may have the vision of God and a very clear understanding of what God wants, and yet when we start to do it, there comes something equivalent to Moses' forty years in the wilderness. It's as if God had ignored the entire thing, and when we are thoroughly discouraged, God comes back and revives His call to us. And then we begin to tremble and say--"Oh, who am I that I should go...?" We must learn that God's great stride is summed up in these words--"I AM THAT I AM... has sent me to you" (Exodus 3:14) We must also learn that our individual effort for God shows nothing but disrespect for Him--our individuality is to be rendered radiant through a personal relationship with God..."

This has encouraged me so much. I know that God never leaves nor does He withhold Himself from me, but I've lived as if He had. All the while, He was with me, encouraging me through difficult circumstances to turn to Him in dependence and allow Him to be my only Source for life, allowing Him to live through me in each moment.

Today, I choose truth. Today, I choose to depend on Him. The last sentence of Chambers' devotional was this:

If you are going through a time of discouragement, there is a time of great personal growth ahead.
Romans 8:28: Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:30:00 +0000
Wisdom Part 2: Thu, 09 Oct 2008 14:41:00 +0000
Technical Difficulties: Thu, 09 Oct 2008 05:02:00 +0000
Ok, so I shouldn't be surprised that I'm already experiencing technical difficulties with this vlog. I recorded the video this afternoon and as I've tried to upload it, I ran into some problems. Now, the problem appears to be that the video is missing.

I will try again on Thursday. I'm sorry for the delay...
The Indwelling Life of Christ: Mon, 06 Oct 2008 20:57:00 +0000

I'm reading this book by Major W. Ian Thomas and each chapter is packed with incredible truths about Christians and the Christian life. I'm absolutely LOVING this book! Anyway, I thought I'd share a little from chapter 7, entitled "What Kind of a Christian?", that really impacted me today.

God is the absolute source of righteousness, but there is also an absolute source of unrighteousness--the devil. All human activity derives from one or the other of these two origins.

That is why the Bible says, "Whatsoever is not of faith is sin" (Romans 14:23 KJV). Whatever does not derive from your attitude of total dependence on God, whatever does not release God's activity through your life, is sin...Every step you take, every attitude you adopt, every decision you make, everything you do and all you hope to be, is either in dependence upon the God who created you as His own dwelling place, or else the byproduct of the demon spirit of this world...who perpetuates his lies through a mind-set of self-reliance in fallen humanity.

He goes on to write about what Romans 8:& calls the "carnal mind." He defines it as "exercising the faculties of your personality in ways that are not dependent on the God whose presence imparts to you the quality of true humanity that He always intended for you."

He continues:

It means thinking godlessly...You take a step, you make a decision, you conceive your plans, you assume a responsibility, all without relating the situation to God and to His light and to all that He is within you...Carnal or fleshly Christians have been regenerated by the restoration of the Holy Spirit to their human spirit, but in certain ways they still repudiate the Spirit's legitimate right to reestablish the rule of Christ in their minds, in their emotions, and in their wills...their actions and decisions typically are taken for the sake of their own interests and for who they are in themselves, rather than for God's interests and for who He is...the devil is smart enough and cunning enough that he can always persuade countless numbers of professing Christians to try and be Christians without Christ.

This next part was really powerful to me as I began to think of all the things I am willing to do for Jesus:

They are willing to do anything for Jesus' sake, but they fail to understand that His presenceis absolutely imperative to do it, that without Him we are nothing, have nothing, and can do nothing.

The chapter ends with this prayer:

I want nothing less than to be all that for which the blood of God's dear Son was shed.
Hinds' Feet On High Places: Sat, 04 Oct 2008 15:26:00 +0000
Dani has been reading this book for some time and sharing some quotes with me along the way. I finally decided, after hearing a bunch of great sections from the book, that I needed to read it as well. So, I started today. This is a small portion of the introduction:

"The Song of Songs expresses the desire implanted in every human heart, to be reunited with God himself, and to know perfect and unbroken union with him. He has made us for himself, and our hearts can never know rest and perfect satisfaction until they find it in him.

It is God's will that some of his children should learn this deep union with himself through the perfect flowering of natural human love in marriage. For others it is equally his will that the same perfect union should be learned through the experience of learning to lay down completely this natural and instinctive desire for marriage and parenthood, and accept the circumstances of life which deny them this experience. This instinct for love, so firmly implanted in the human heat, is the supreme way by which we learn to desire and love God himself above all else.

But the High Places of victory and union with Christ cannot be reached by any mental reckoning of self to be dead to sin, or by seeking to devise some way or discipline by which the will can be crucified. The only way is by learning to accept, day by day, the actual conditions and tests permitted by God, by a continually repeated laying down of our own will and acceptance of his as it is presented to us in the form of the people with whom we have to live and work, and in the things which happen to us. Every acceptance of his will becomes an altar of sacrifice, and every such surrender and abandonment of ourselves to his will is a means of furthering us on the way to the High Places to which he desires to bring every child of his while they are still living on earth."

Great stuff! I'm excited to see what the story brings...
Great Resource from CPYU: Thu, 02 Oct 2008 21:13:00 +0000
The Center For Parent/Youth Understanding (CPYU) publishes a magazine called "Engage." Their most recent publication is available online for free! You can check it out here or by visiting the CPYU website.

Get your own - Open publication
Wisdom: Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:55:00 +0000
Vlog: Thu, 25 Sep 2008 16:07:00 +0000
Completing the Work: Mon, 15 Sep 2008 19:10:00 +0000
I've been thinking over the past few days what exactly is Paul praying in Philippians 1:6 as he writes, "I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ."

As I think about this, there is a thought running around my mind questioning this prayer.

Here's the thought:
"Didn't Christ already make believers complete? On the cross, He said, 'It is finished' and then there is all this stuff written about how we are righteous, perfect, and complete in Christ. So, why would Paul pray for these Philippians that God would complete this work among them?"

The more I've thought about this the more I think, one of the things Paul is praying has to with the way our lives are played out. I think Paul is praying that our physical lives will begin to match the reality of our spiritual life. In our spirit, we are united with Christ, made blameless and righteous in Him. No longer are dead, separated from God...but we are now alive, forever united with Him in our spirit. However, we aren't physically dead yet and we all continue to choose things that aren't in accordance with the life, desires, and character of God. We all still choose our flesh from time to time.

To me, Paul is praying something similar to Romans 12:2. This work that God is continuing to do that He will complete among us is the renewing of our minds, which directly results in the transformation of our lives. He is actively replacing the lies we have believed about ourselves, about God, and about others with the truth of who He is, who we are in Him, and who He is in us. This work that He's doing, He is faithful to complete. We are partakers of this work, but not as the worker, rather as the receiver. He works, we receive the fruit of His work in us.

It may look a bit like this: We struggle, in our flesh, to find our identity in Christ, instead we look for it in the things we do. As we try harder and harder to prove our worth and value, connecting ourselves so intimately with the activities we are involved in, God continues to remind us that we weren't created to find identity, worth, and value in the things we do.

Through His working, we come to the end of ourselves; realizing that we can not manufacture, produce, or even imitate a satisfied life in a way that truly satisfies. God begins removing the lies we've believed about where our identity and worth and value lie, replacing it with the truth that our identity is in our spirit alone, united with Christ, forever in Christ and Christ in us, and we are valuable/worthy because He has determined that about His creation, not because of anything we have ever done or ever could do.

This work that He is faithful to complete isn't something that He's having to fix in our spirit, but rather in our souls. He actively renewing our minds and, therefore, transforming our lives.

How good and kind God is to actively move in our world today, living in those who believe in Him, never ceasing to work in us to bring us to complete dependence on Him, living from Him as our Source for life.

So may you, today, find comfort and rest in Him, knowing that He is faithful to complete the work of renewing your mind to believe the truth of who He is, who you are in Him, and who He is in you.

Grace and Peace.
Fatherhood - Poem Sent from ChristAsUs.com: Wed, 03 Sep 2008 22:02:00 +0000
Fatherhood
John Collings

Now I see what it means to be a father.
No longer looking about, seeking acceptance.
Feigning righteousness, needing approval.
All I am is of God.
The spiritual is reality.
Mystical supercedes logic.
God is tangible.
Only when I forget does the world blind me.

But fatherhood is more.
It is seeing the futile struggles of the children,
Struggling against their nature,
Not trusting because they cannot see or hear.
It is loving them through their trials.
And sharing with them His burdens for others.

All is Good.
Each crisis potentially brings on understanding.

The children need a father, or they begin to make their own rules.
And to misunderstand the purpose behind their growing.
Without a father they think themselves mature.
And their growing stagnates.

A father sees the vast limitless power
And resources of God as accessible.
He sees with God's eyes into the needs of his children.
And as they know him, they grow.

God gave us church that His children might have fathers,
and that fathers might know the joy
of loving children to maturity.
It's Always Been There: Wed, 27 Aug 2008 06:19:00 +0000
This past Sunday, my family and I joined some friends for a short hike through some woods that ended at a little creek. While I was the only one who had been raised in this area, I was completely unaware of this beautiful spot we were exploring. In fact, our friends who took us out there aren't even from Texas, yet they had already made the trek to the creek and enjoyed it's beauty and fun.

I've been thinking about that adventure ever since we left to head home. That spot has always been there, even though I never knew it and hadn't visited it before. This is how I've felt the past few years in my Christian life, and therefore life in general. For so long I've lived as a "Christian." I've faithfully done all the things I thought I was supposed to do (i.e. read my Bible daily, prayed several times a day, always attended church regularly, talked to others about my faith, etc.) but it wasn't until a few years ago that I started to experience the beauty and fullness of life in Christ.

It's not that Jesus hadn't already given me His life and the fulfilled the promise of abundant life, it's just that I hadn't ever visited it before. I grew up in the general area, just never realized the life I was missing out on, but I knew I was missing out on something.

I had "lived" under the guise of law, instead of liberty. I thought God wanted so much from me, expected me to always do the right thing and if I ever gave in to sin (which was more often than I ever wanted to admit), I would have to work hard at repented and proving how sorry I was. Other times, I thought I was doing so well at doing the right things that God just had to be proud of such a special part of His creation. At those times, I thought that He just had to use me, after all it'd be a shame to waste such talent.

I've realized how messed up those views were and come face to face with the incredible and satisfying grace of God. Jesus has done all work through His Spirit whom He poured into my spirit at salvation, making me a new creation. I can now abide in this beautiful land of freedom, grace, peace, life, love, joy, wholeness, and perfection...even when the things I choose aren't perfect.

I now see how wonderful it is to be alive in Christ, that it's not just a catchy phrase, but it is crucial in really living. He is life and He's made me alive in Him. For that, the adventure is always worth it. I get to abide in Him by depending on Him in each moment.

This life has always been there in me ever since salvation, I just never realized it until recently. How thankful I am for that realization, it's made all the difference in my life.
Peas and Carrots: Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:25:00 +0000
Today was a beautiful day in Oregon. Sitting outside on my parent’s patio is peaceful and comfortable. We took baby L out there to eat her dinner tonight and were having a nice time. She was watching their waterfall and looking around at the trees. She seemed to be really enjoying her peas and carrots also! Then she decided that she was capable of feeding herself! I gave her two spoons to work with and I still had one to help her out a little since she was pretty hungry. Baby L got the bowl of peas and I kept the bowl of carrots. As she started playing in the peas with her fingers, she was absolutely thrilled! She dipped her fingers in and then put them in her mouth. I cheered, “Great job L! You did it!” Then she wanted to spoon the food into her mouth. She put the spoon into the peas several times and one time actually got the spoon from the bowl to her mouth. “Alright L! Wow!”

She was very happy with herself…until she realized that she was still hungry.

She was doing a great job, but it was not satisfying her hunger. She started to get angry and was rubbing the food all over herself making a HUGE mess!

I managed to get a quick bite of carrots in her mouth and she calmed down realizing that she was still getting food in her tummy. After a few minutes of this game, she had had enough. Our normally very happy baby was fit to be tied in that seat and wanting out fast.
She was completely covered from head to toe in peas and carrots. Matt and I took her straight into the sink to get cleaned up before we fed her a bottle. At last she was calm and peaceful again in her daddy’s arms being taken care of…what a picture.

As we went through this interaction it amazed me how well it illustrated many of our relationships with God. We are happy and peaceful in His creation. We are able to enjoy Him and the life He gave us. Then we start to think we can live this life on our own. It seems like a great idea and very exciting. We take over and drive ourselves to perform and achieve goals, status, praise and/or riches. We think we can handle this life on our own and love how if feels. Then we begin to experience little failures and we start to get frustrated. Our dreams are not as easily attainable as we thought and even if we reach them, we develop new and bigger ones.
When we continue to fail and fail, we begin to get angry, depressed, or resentful. Why won’t God help me do this? Why is this happening to me? God must not be trustworthy…I’m going to have to figure this one out on my own. Then we fail more. Some of us react to this failure with feelings of inadequacy and depression. We want to escape and get relief from all of our negative beliefs and feelings. Some of us believe that we can continue to press on and succeed, so we work and work and work and nearly kill ourselves to accomplish.

Then we fail more and by the grace of God, realize that WE CAN’T! We lift our hands to God as baby L lifted her hands to me to get out of the seat. Then as L had to get cleaned up in the sink, He has to clean up the mess that we have made by trying and trying to make our life work in our own strength.

The cleaning up of the mess usually isn’t a lot of fun, but in the end we are able to rest in our Father’s arms. He has cleaned up our mess and taken our heavy yoke. We are able to rest in Him and trust Him with our dreams, goals, desires, and our lives. We can surrender all of it and trust that He will and already has made something beautiful of our lives. It will be infinitely better than we have ever dreamed.

At some point every illustration breaks down. Baby L will someday learn to eat well on her own and will not have to depend on us to feed her and clean her up. It will be very healthy for her to learn independence from us in that way.

However, we are not intended to learn indepence from our Heavenly Father. As we attempt independence He draws us back to Him as He teaches us to trust Him in everything. Every area of our life He desires to live through us and give us a full and satisfying life that is not dependent on our circumstances, but His life in us and through us.

Thanks Baby L for such a beautiful picture of our Father…and some great entertainment!
Continued Provision: Mon, 04 Aug 2008 18:16:00 +0000
Yesterday, my family and I flew from Texas to Oregon. It was a long day as we drove 2 1/2 hours to get to the airport and then had a 4 hour flight. By the time we landed, we were exhausted.

It was tough leaving home not really knowing where the funds would come from for us to get paid. The ministry is pretty much out of money and the things I have lined up while I'm in Oregon aren't things I get "paid" for. This whole experience has proven to be very taxing on us. I realized yesterday how much I've spiraled into my flesh. I had pretty much disengaged emotionally from Dani and struggled with what to do for our family.

At some point on the plane, I looked over at Dani and was overwhelmed with the reality of my current state. I had turned back to the yoke of slavery instead of resting in His life and freedom. As each moment passed without seeing His provision for my family, I turned more and more to my flesh. I'm so thankful that God revealed all of this to me. I hate how quickly I turn back to the flesh. I also HATE how I treat my family, especially Dani, when I'm not depending on Christ.

As we headed home, with a little time to talk, we mostly just had questions of what we were going to do. I honestly don't know what we'll do next month, or even the rest of this month. All I know is that, regardless of any situation, we're invited to depend on Jesus, who is completely trustworthy and good.

We were surprised to recieve a check, along with a few other checks we received right before we left Texas! It is enough to cover our paychecks for August 1st, and mostly for the 15th as well.

Through this situation, I've seen once again how circumstantial I can be. I am comforted by Christ and His provision, as well as the reality that He is doing exactly what we need at this moment. I also see that it took me getting to the absolute end of myself to see that He's really all I have. I hit bottom yesterday, and He revealed Himself through provision again. I tried coping with the situation, just hoping He would come through quickly. When that didn't happen, I didn't know what to do because coping wasn't a real option, that always leads to misery for me.

Christ always leads to fullness, peace, rest, joy, love, and life. My prayer is that I don't keep turning back to my flesh nor do I focus on my circumstances, instead always fixing my eyes on Jesus and depending fully on Him in each moment.
Sleeping In: Sat, 02 Aug 2008 02:24:00 +0000
This past Wednesday, I had plans to meet with a friend, Matei, at 6:30 am for breakfast. We have been meeting together all summer, mostly on Tuesdays, but rescheduled this week for Wednesday. Late Tuesday night I realized that my cell phone was pretty much out of battery and wouldn't make it till the morning, so I connected it to my laptop and went to bed.

The problem is that my cell phone is my alarm clock also. I decided to set my watch alarm and prayed this prayer:

"Father, please wake me up so I can make it to my meeting at 6:30. I am trusting you to get me up on time. I pray that I won't be late."

As I my head hit the pillow, I was pretty much already asleep. I woke up to my girls getting breakfast and Dani asking me if I meant to sleep in. It was 7:25! I frantically jumped up, ran upstairs to get my phone, and saw that Matei sent me a text around 6:45 asking if I had slept in.

I sent him a text back to see if he was still there, found out he was, and headed up to meet him. I couldn't believe I had slept in. I was very disappointed in myself and my mind began to have these thoughts:

"God, it's not like I was asking for a big thing. I know you can wake me up, what's the deal? Why would you let this happen? These breakfasts with Matei are important to me, I can't believe you didn't wake me up!"

When I got to breakfast, Matei told me it was no big deal and that he used the hour to read more of Grace Walk by Steve McVey and finished up Romans. He began to tell me some of the things he felt God showing him through his reading, which he blogged about here. I was encouraged by my friend. However, I spent the rest of the day wrestling with how to handle the let down of God not waking me up by 6:30.

I write of this event because it has turned out to be a critical moment for me as God has revealed something transforming for my life. Even though He didn't "show up" when I asked Him to, Wednesday morning turned out EXACTLY how it needed to. Matei and I aren't just getting together for breakfast every week, we're getting together and praying that God reveals more of Himself to us as we do. This past week, God just wanted to do that during the time we weren't together.

I was so focused on my schedule, I didn't even realize that God was doing something much cooler on His schedule and allowing me to see it. Being on time wasn't the issue, the issue continues to be me trusting God to do what's best.

This theme continues to be central in my thoughts as we still haven't received enough support to get paid this month. I was trusting, but trusting with the expectation that He would provide by the first what we needed to get through August.

As August 1st came and went, my soul is actually at peace knowing that He is all we need and He will ONLY do what is best for us. During this time, I'm experiencing His life, joy, peace, and rest as only His life can be, even though our circumstances haven't changed any. The money isn't the issue any more, the issue for me is whether or not I'm going to trust Him in each moment. As I've chosen Him, I've experienced the abundant life and I wouldn't trade that for more financial gain as His life is so sweet.

I know He will provide, as He's done so faithfully for so long. This time, He has something more for me to see than receiving that financial provision by the 1st. I'll keep you posted as I continue to learn. I'm so thankful for my sweet wifey who is a true partner on this journey.

Grace and Peace.
Trust: Fri, 01 Aug 2008 04:11:00 +0000
Over the past year and a half, trust has been the biggest recurring theme in my life. Once I left my position as youth pastor at the church where I worked, my family has lived under what God has provided through LIFe Ministries. It's been an incredible ride and we've experientially learned how trustworthy Jesus is.

Through our first support letter, God brought in enough to get us through the first half of year 1. God continued to bring in money and we made it without much difficulty until August of that first year (2007). Ever since then, we've watched God bring in just enough each month to cover the expenses for the ministry and for us to receive our paychecks from the ministry.

I don't like to write about all of this because money is one of those subjects that can easily make people feel uncomfortable. However, I share this now because I want to share honestly the reality of the struggle in the moment of faith, as we trust God to provide once again in a way only He can.

After almost 2 years, one might think that it's gotten easy and it shouldn't be that big of a deal any more when our bank account reaches nearly the bottom. It is a bit easier, but it's far from easy. The struggle is real, and we're finding joy in the midst of it. Jesus' peace prevails over the seemingly uncertainty of tomorrow. However, we fully trust His certainty for each moment, and are able to rest in Him for that.

Right now, we are at that point again, where He will have to do something big (in our eyes) in order for us to financially make it through August. This journey is incredible. It's been and still is a great ride for us as we have learned (and are still learning) what it means to trust God in all things. He's so tender and strong, faithful and good, gracious and giving, present and unceasing. Without the struggles, not just the financial ones, I'm sure my view of God would have continued to be more theoretical than practical.

Even for a theoretical thinker, I'm so glad He's in the details and His grace is in each moment. I'll update here as we continue on this journey of trusting and learning to depend completely on Him.